into the night

so i got somethin' new to see
and you just gon' keep hatin' me
and we just gon' be enemies

i know you can't believe
i could just leave it wrong
and you can't make it right
i'm gon' take off tonight
into the night

i know they all sound the same, but every now and then i get really into a kanye song.

Heartless - Kanye West

this is a good one, so i'll LET HIM BE GREAT for now...

poincare says...

Thought is only a flash between two long nights, but this flash is everything.

here's me part II

25 factoids, for the record:

1. if i fall asleep wearing socks, i wake up and the socks are gone. without fail.
2. my work computer screensaver just scrolls "Om namah shivaya."
3. i don't really like musicals. or madonna. i feel like a traitor to my subculture.
4. in a month i'll be a published scholar. i wish i'd get some money for it or something.
5. most nights i sleep with my pillow turned up and down, rather than horizontally. i could just get smaller pillows, but . . . meh.
6. speaking of which, at least once - sometimes twice - a night, i wake up and look out my window. usually around 3 AM. (the witching hour. and i think of that every morning.)
7. every single day i go to cnn.com to take the quick poll, even if i don't have an opinion on the subject.
8. i love gummi bears and gummi worms, but i haven't allowed myself to eat them in probably a year.
9. i have never seen any Godfather movie, nor have i ever seen a Star Wars film.
10. i drink out of glass jars in the office. i brought them in, and i know i'm the only person using them.
11. my favorite song ever is a country song. i guess it's in my blood.
12. i keep accidentally writing on my dry erase board with sharpie.
13. i have a pillow with the lyrics to Ben Folds' "The Luckiest" written on it. gift from my bff.
14. last week i ate an entire jar of pickles in one day. they're only 5 calories per spear.
15. for the first time in years, i'm not boycotting anything currently. not even Cosi.
16. i shower at the gym, and no - i don't think that's strange at all.
17. if i'm sitting at my desk at work, my shoes are probably off.
18. i think it's actually god that is in the details.
19. i compulsively buy movies and books on amazon.com, sometimes when i've had too many drinks.
20. i once kissed a boy. on the rooftop of a building. on a mid-summer night. after eating Ben n Jerry's. i could've died happily that night.
21. i hated tuna all my life, until i craved it one day a few years ago. ditto: pickles. big ditto: olives.
22. i LOVE when people have fun combination names, like two geographical words (i knew a Georgia Brittain in college) or even better, two first names (like Ethan Allen).
23. i like my right foot. the left, not so much.
24. i finally started recycling a few months ago.
25. for whatever reason, babies always like me.

my life would suck without you

that song immediately came to mind when i read the LA Times review of a new book entitled

Six-Word Memoirs of Love and Heartbreak.

it's a collection of -- well, exactly what the title says: various authors sum up their relationships and their loves in six words.

like:

I loved the idea of you.

Tomorrow, maybe, I'll sell the ring.

Heartbroken, until the bitch finally died.

It hurts even worse in French.

They never seemed crazy at first.

I thought we had more time.

this book is a sequel, of sorts. the editors got so many responses to their first installation (a NY Times Bestseller) that they had to publish again.

the idea for the original came from the popular tale that Ernest Hemingway once won a bet that he could write a short story in just six words (his story was simply this: “For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.” so sad, right??)


at any rate, i haven't yet run out to pick up the book (it'll be on my coffee table by the end of the week - in time for Valentine's Day), but i have to share my favorite out of the relatively few already posted online:

Everyone's crazy except you and me.

what would your six words be? hmmm???


i'm still trying to figure out my love story. when i do, i'll share it.

keep holding on

i thought the weekend would never end.

meaning it was too good, too perfect. it wouldn't end because it was what life should be like. the stars were all in line, and the weekend seemed infinite.

but what am i to do what that now, on monday morning, back at my desk?

all i know to do to cope is
-drink this coffee
-tell my coworkers how ridiculous the weekend was
-show them the bruises
-revel in my new wool pants that are soft as a kitten on my legs
-send txts to say thanx & i <3 u
-smile to myself
-start planning for the next one

and maybe tomorrow i'll remind myself to live in the present, to live mindfully, to listen to buddha.

but not today.

not sure why

one of the best postsecrets ever.

"P.S. Guess what?"

I bet you've had a hard time walking into a room full of people on your own, right? Yeah. I know that.
I know what it is not to feel like you're in the room until he looks at you or touches your hand or even makes a joke at your expense, just to let everyone know... you're with him. You're his.

sorry to cheese y'all out, and to remind you of yet another mediocre romantic comedy, but that was probably the second* best part of P.S. I Love You, which, for some reason i watched all the way through... twice.

i hate myself for the second time. the first time i didn't know better.

Kathy Bates concisely and perfectly summed up the total agony of being in love.



*the best part of the movie was obviously seeing Gerard Butler shirtless several times. so actually GB shirtless is probably the best, second best, and third best parts of the movie.

he makes me feel like that Lady Gaga song, because i'd GLADLY let him hit me and raise his baby.

it's like i have a fifth sense

i don't usually like to toot my own horn (that's what BFs are for), but i have to point out that i can predict the future.

for just one of the many, many examples of my amazing ability, check out this list of Oscar nominees.

did you check that out? it doesn't matter either way.

now recall my predictions in the past year:

1. MILK will receive numerous nominations, for every category possible. aaand it did. i think it's even nominated for Best Foreign Language film, which makes no sense.

2. i told you that DOUBT is awesome and everyone in it is going to get an Oscar and a pony. aaaaaand it's nom'd for like 100 awards.

3. finally, i'm now ready to eat my words. that stupid WALL-E thing is going to win the award for cheesiest piece of preachy cheese ever fermented. check!

maybe i just say these things to make myself feel important and to convince you sluts to go see the movies i've seen so that we can discuss them.
maybe i only go out of my way to see films that are sure things come Oscar season.
or maybe i have a special gift and i can actually predict the future.

i think the latter is most likely.

allen says...

You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

QOTD

like i know im being stupid, but im like OVER the past...

AMEN, friend.

amen.

making my kitty useful

i'm turning up the heat and hopefully cranking up the level of shedding going on in my house, because i want a luxurious sweater made out of attipuss's soft hair!
with a hot enough summer, maybe my sweater can be pret-a-porter by next fall!

or... is that creepy? i think the jury is still out.

here i am, once again

give me a few hours alone in a car, and i will almost always choose to spend the time taking the familiar audio trek through what i call The Clarkson Trilogy.

so i feel obligated to update an entry from about a year and a half ago so as to reflect the most recent twist in Kelly's romantically bipolar songwriting:

Friday, October 19, 2007

evolution


the trouble with love is, it can tear you up inside
make your heart believe a lie


and if i try to save him, my whole world could cave in
it just ain't right, and i don't know what he's after


and i know i let you have all the power
and i realize i'm never going to quit you over time
it's like i can't breathe
it's like i can't see anything
nothing but you


sometimes shattered, never open
nothing matters when you're broken
that was me whenever i was with you
always ending, always over
back and forth, up and down like a roller-coaster
i am breaking that habit
today


my heart can't possibly break
when it wasn't even whole to start with


what do you do when you look in the mirror
and staring at you is why he's not here


and i don't know, i could crash and burn
but maybe at the end of this road
i might catch a glimpse of me
so i won't worry about my timing
i want to get it right
no comparing, second-guessing
no, not this time


i would never wish bad things
but i don't wish you well...
never again will i love you
never


i don't want to be tough
and i don't want to be proud
but i don't need to be fixed
and i certainly don't need to be found
i'm not lost

maybe i've got issues
but you're pretty messed up, too
either way, i found out
i'm nothing without you

if the rest of the album follows this manic lead, we'll have an up-beat, fun, and maybe even romantic soundtrack on our hands in just a couple months.

buddha says...

Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.

outta my, outta my head

the last time we slept together, there was something that was not there
you never wanted to alarm me, but i'm the one that's drowning now

i could sleep forever these days
'cause in my dreams i see you again
...
it was so like you to visit me to
let me know you were okay

it was so like you to visit me,
always worrying about someone else


at your funeral i was so upset
so upset
in your life you were larger than this
statuesque.

bloc party. signs. it's lovely. and haunting (mostly that last stanza.eek. sure gives the song a different tinge, huh?).

listen for yourself. now.

cheese part III

the way it should be.

otherwise, what's the point?