So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Friday, February 29, 2008

lesbians make us laugh AND cry

dear ellen degeneres,

your heartfelt plea for understanding and change has brought tears to my eyes, the way your comedy occasionally does. today's tears are, of course, not laughing tears.

thanks for saying this on your show today. maybe fat dumb america will listen to you. maybe not. but i listened, and i respect your guts. ha. i didn't mean that as a play on "i hate your guts" but it works. I RESPECT YOUR GUTS!


* * *

"On February 12th, an openly gay 15-year-old boy named Larry who was an eighth-grader in Oxnard, California was murdered by a fellow eighth-grader named Brandon. Larry was killed because he...was gay. Days before he was murdered, Larry asked his killer to be his Valentine. I don't want to be political.

This is not political, I'm not a political person, but this is personal to me. A boy has been killed and a number of lives have been ruined. And somewhere along the line the killer Brandon got the message that it's so threatening and so awful and so horrific that Larry would want to be his Valentine that killing Larry seemed to be the right thing to do. And when the message out there is so horrible that to be gay you can be killed for it, we need to change the message.

Larry was not a second class citizen. I am not a second class citizen. It is okay if you're gay.

I don't care what people say. I don't care what people think.

And I know there are entire groups of people who face discrimination every single day and we're a long way from treating each other equally. All of it is unacceptable. All of it.

But I would like you to start paying attention to how often being gay is the punchline of a monologue. Or how often gay jokes are in a movie. And that kind of message — laughing at someone because they're gay — is just the beginning. It starts with laughing at someone, then it's verbal abuse, then it's physical abuse, and then it's this kid Brandon killing a kid like Larry.

We must change our country and we can do it with our behavior, we can do it with the messages we send our children, we can do it with our vote. This is an election year and there's a lot of talk about change. I think one thing we can change is hate. Check on who you're voting for, and does that person really truly believe that we are all equal under the law? And if you're not sure, change your vote.

We deserve better. My heart goes out to everybody involved in this horrible, horrible incident."

Sunday, February 10, 2008

in God's kitchen.

as i dressed for brunch on this chilly sunday morning, i found myself wondering if i should be going to church instead. what was, for many years of my teenage and young adult life, a sunday morning ritual is now only a memory, much like the college dining hall or free time on weekends. too busy for God - that's me! i have far too much homework to sit in a pew and learn all morning.

but i'm not too busy to have brunch with my friends. it's a priority. it's soul food -- kinda like church used to be. has brunch replaced church? or are they actually quite similar?

i dress pretty much the same for brunch as i dress for church. button-down shirt and a cute sweater. the only difference is that i put on well-fitted jeans this morning, rather than slacks.

brunch is where we boys and girls go to confess what we did the night before, much like we used to do at church. "...but i really like him, so i don't feel guilty!"

also, both brunch and church end in "ch." okay, now it's becoming a stretch.

but i believe that God can be found not only before an altar, but anywhere we seek Him. in a heartfelt discussion between friends. on the train with you as you randomly chat with a very sweet old lady who's wearing too much perfume. in a late-night, emotional discussion with a friend who is suddenly alone after years in a relationship. and God can also be with us at brunch, in a bustling little cafe, over cafe au lait and a calorie-packed order of home fries. mmmmmm potatoes.

if you didn't go to brunch this weekend, don't feel guilty. God and breakfast burritos will still be there for you when you're ready to sit down and re-center with a little quiet time or a much-needed reunion with your closest friends.

wow, i totally feel better now about not going to church this morning!