So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

always on the road

Once you realize that the road is the goal and that you are always on the road, not to reach a goal, but to enjoy its beauty and its wisdom, life ceases to be a task and becomes natural and simple, in itself an ecstasy.

- Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj


Thursday, June 14, 2012

what you missed

this has never been my favorite thing to do, posting an informative catch-up post after not blogging for a considerable amount of time.  unfortunately, it's the best way to get back in the saddle after time away from you.

the reason that this isn't my favorite thing is because not much has been happening anyway.  i don't really have much to share.  there, that's my disclaimer.  you can stop reading now, because there will be nothing interesting below.  regardless...

the short version is, i've been staying very busy with work and the gym and shopping and dating, and i love Girls, and life is generally very good.

the long version is, work is sometimes frustrating and stressful, but i never dread going there.  i try to have fun and try to ensure that my co-workers have fun, every single day.  not to sound arrogant or anything, but if i were to leave my job, about 80% of the people there would either quit or kill themselves or both, in that order.  i'm confident about the percentage because they've all told me so.  wherever you stand, be the soul of the place.

i still think one or two visits to the gym per week is sufficient, though i've been visiting mine more often as of late because that's where the tanning booth that i pay to use is located.  i know that tanning is bad, but it's important for pasty pale people like me this time of year, even if it means going to that awful place called the gym.  oftentimes i cannot fathom even getting out of my car to walk into the gym after a long day at work; however, i convince myself to stop in and even work out for about 20 minutes just so that i can tan.  only once could i not bring myself to work out, or even put on workout clothes, so i scanned in at the gym, tanned, and left.  my entire drive home, i was certain that every single man in the gym stopped what he was doing, set down the weights, and watched me walk out without doing any sort of workout.  

i would like to add that, in a continuing effort to look 25 forever, i make sure to apply SPF 30 to my face and neck before tanning.  this has not yet resulted in any awful clavicle tan lines.

shopping -- well, in the past year or so (read: ever since quitting the law firm job that paid for my addiction) i've developed a great deal of self-restraint while in malls.  my few remaining weaknesses are J. Crew, Banana and Yankee Candle Company.  i am powerless against sales on seasonally appropriate chinos and candle scents that might make my house smell as though it's clean.

finally, an update on my dating life... i sometimes feel that i write about dating too often on this blog.  as if that's all i care about, or as if it's the only thing going on in my life.  well, it's not.  sometimes i rent movies and watch them alone.  also, until i recently began a month-long alcohol detox at which i am currently failing, i liked to drink with friends often.  having said all that, most of my time spent socializing with other humans outside of work involves dating.

to catch you up, i've been hanging out with Brad for just over a month now.  i haven't previously told you anything about him, because it's not exciting in any way.  occasionally Brad provides me with a funny story to tell friends and coworkers (such as when he was upset with me for using "drugs," but only until he Googled Ambien to find out what horrible illegal high i was enjoying) or a fun time together at a bar or, in the case of this past Sunday Funday, at a casino.  Brad is a great guy, and i'm trying diligently not to lead him on.  is there any harm in casually dating someone while keeping an eye out for Mr. Right?  i tell myself that there is not.

that's pretty much it for my dating life.  oh,alsoiguessishouldmentionthati'veseenthedoctortwicethisweekinorderto"saygoodbye"beforehemovesfar,faraway.

finally, i love Girls.  since Cassifrass gave me her HBO GO log-in, i've been watching a ton of my old fave, Curb Your Enthusiasm, catching up on the nudity of True Blood before it came back, and thoroughly enjoying the new series Girls.  it's often laugh-out-loud funny but, within the same episode, can be so raw and self-reflection-inducing that a weaker man might be tempted to cry.  if you haven't yet seen it, i highly recommend it.

and that's what you missed on -- ME!

Friday, June 8, 2012

post(ing) secret(s)

you, too?

for me it began in childhood, as a defense against monsters and bigfoot.  yeah, bigfoot.  so what? wanna fight about it?  i was terrified by the movie Harry and the Hendersons.  gave me nightmares.  plus, our house was surrounded by forest.  

two decades later, my under-cover sleeping habit is more about comfort/noise than self-defense.  even in uncomfortably warm weather, i have to be under the sheets.