So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

first kiss

it's a quick and abrupt and shocking and wonderful thing. it's always out of the blue, even if you were waiting for it. it's breathtaking even when it's mediocre. it's unforgettable.

and i hate that it took NYC Prep to remind me of this.

is it possible for a 26 year old to experience this again? would we even want it if it were?

btw: mine technically was in junior high, but i don't count that one. the real one: freshman year of college. along railroad tracks late at night. a romantic walk, or the only option? i cried... yikes.

would we even want it if it were possible?

Monday, June 29, 2009

rule for life #22

even men love to receive flowers. there's nothing exclusively feminine about such a sweet gesture.

thank you.

life = paper clips

black babies and paper clips and traffic jams all make me want to become a scientologist.

i'm sure you'll feel the same after watching this little nugget of crazy.

...all kidding aside, i really would become a scientologist if they'd give me an adorable little black baby.

nothing left to say

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Friday, June 26, 2009

my morning smile

hat tip to the pep talker.

good things

on gloomy, cloudy yet sticky summer days like this, when i'm in a wretched mood the second i walk out my door and begin sweating, it helps to focus on the sunny side of life. to that end, i'm putting together a list of things i'm excited or happy about:

1. my dentist appointment this afternoon! wax on, wax off!

2. my girl Tay's themed birthday party tonight. still racking my brain to come up with a 90's outfit that i won't be too embarrassed to wear to a bar afterwards... suggestions?

3. debuting my new house at a little get-together with some out-of-town guests tomorrow.

4. losing 5 pounds in the past day due to some loco stomach bug. suh-weeeet!

5. the A/C in my office has been out of control this week. on wednesday the temp actually hit a frosty 58 degrees (one of the other attorneys left early because,
he claimed, his nose was too cold). normally i'd whine about that, but considering the crazy weather outside, i was happy as a clam on ice with the office temp.

6. a new Hair Plan. i get so pumped for my Hair Plans, but sometimes i go months in between good ideas. like writer's block for a stylist, it's quite frustrating to just keep trimming with no real inspiration. cut grow cut grow. my blockage has cleared.

7. my closet. after a disastrous collapse, maintenance came to fix a shelf that must've been overly burdened. sometimes a mess is the perfect motivation to re-organize and re-think a space. now it's better than ever, and in less danger of burying atticus in a heap of fallen clothes.

8. gossip girl. see previous posts. i'm in deep.

9. oh, and last but certainly not least: it's friday! TBIF.

10. anything you'd like to add?

Thursday, June 25, 2009


because i love you. and not in the way you love some guy who picks up your lit. paper, or some girl who likes your hair... i love you.

getting carried away by GG on DVD. ugh.

the little things

new favorite thing in life:

having a washer and dryer in my apartment.

can never go back.

tough call

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

rule for life #855

when you have an upsetting conversation and your plans and hopes are shattered, don't sweat it. this isn't the first time it has happened, and every time it does it gets easier.

before long, you won't even care.

look what happens

Even after all this time the sun never says to the earth, "You owe me."
Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky.



Tuesday, June 23, 2009

makin' whoopie

when i was a little boy growing up in amishville, USA, one of my favorite things in the world was the delicious and rich little treat called the whoopie pie.
a whoopie pie, as it's called in central PA, is more or less two tiny chocolate cakes oreo'd together by the richest and creamiest frosting you've ever tasted. used to be made with lard. i hope we've found a substitute by now, though.

occasionally we'd buy t
hem from an amish produce 'n pie stand (most often a rickety shack at the intersection of a dirt road and a well-traveled, paved one), but sometimes -- sometimes my mom and my aunts would get together and make boxes and boxes to give to family and friends. we'd freeze several dozen to enjoy in the coming weeks. it was quite a production.

i remember it seeming like the entire kitchen would be covered in chocolate and frosting -- sometimes even peanut butter frosting. i was in heaven.
cut to me being 100 pounds overweight at age 26 and still salivating over these pictures alone. ugh. sugar is the devil.

at any rate, i was shocked to find out that my college friends had never heard of whoopie pies. same story here in philadelphia.

and so my goal for the month of july is to whip up a batch of these sinfully delicious cake-and-icing treats and share them with everyone i know (or at least the first 20 friends and co-workers i see).

but first i have to get my ma's recipe.

and then i have to ask shaunice to do all the mixing and baking. i'll plop the frosting and wash the dishes, but not the baking. oh, no. not again...

UPDATE: shaunice promptly waltzed into my office and offered her baking services. obvi. i live with suzie homemaker.

abe says...

I'm not the silly romantic you think. I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already.

I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved.

Monday, June 22, 2009

i hear that

I want the kind of girl I bring flowers & a six pack of beer to.

-a quote from my straightbloggercrush, Delbert Shoopman.

and i concur.

except change "girl" to "guy" and "six pack of beer" to "box of wine." how romantic.

we are what we eat.

you don't want to know.
you don't want to think about it.
why would you want to do that to yourself?
why would you ruin your favorite meal for yourself?
why would you want the mere thought of a chicken sandwich to make you feel nauseated?

it's easier to stick your head in the sand.
just keep eating what you're eating.
ignorance is delicious.

really, don't go watch this movie. you probably can't handle it anyway.

as for me, it's too late. my morbid curiosity always gets the best of me; that curiosity (and a middle eastern cabbie) drove me to the theater
over the weekend to witness this horror of horrors. i think my mouth hung open in shock and disgust for about an hour and a half.

i would definitely recommend this film, but... most of you don't want to think about what poisons and schnastiness we regularly put into our bodies.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

must be home

I want my own bed, in my own apartment. Home sweet home. No place like home. Take me home, country roads. Home is where the heart is.

But my heart is here. So I must be home. Clare sighs, turns her head, and is quiet. Hi honey, I'm home. I'm home.

i'm in love with this book. i don't want it to end.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Friday, June 19, 2009

buddha says...

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it or who has said it -- not even if I have said it -- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

the best medicine

there are some ailments for which the only cure is mcdonald's breakfast.


Thursday, June 18, 2009

oh, thank google!

i can't tell you how many times i've hit the UNDO button after sending an e-mail...


too cute.

and a little too long, as well.

but i was all :-) and :-D while watchin' it.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

i'll be your muse

oh diana,
however do you find those clothes!!?

they fit your taut body,
i would never know you was a preacher's daughter
i can see your nipples from here
please, diana, cover those lethal weapons, my darling!
i love you

a noteworthy haiku written by a friend who, as you can see, is deserving of poet-laureate status.

my morning smile

or my morning laughoutloudintheoffice, rather.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

but instead

better late than never.


a warm welcome back to jason stackhouse.


probably my new favorite word.


hepburn says...

Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering - because you can’t take it in all at once.

Friday, June 12, 2009

go out with a bangarides

on a dreary, humid early-summer night in philadelphia, three friends said goodbye to their familiar gayborhood by trying something new and festive.

Shaunice, A. and i have all been dying to try the oft-lauded greek BYO called
KANELLA, and my migration to a new neighborhood presented the perfect opportunity for a special treat.

our expectations were high after reading the rave reviews in The Philadelphia Inquirer and Esquire Magazine, yet we were all quite pleased. the ambience at Kanella
(i think that means cinnamon, but it's all greek to me) was charming and almost exotic, while the crowd seemed to be buzzing with celebration, or at least excited tastebuds.

along with the two huge bottles of wine we brought, we started of
f with grilled pita bread and various dips/hummuses (hummi?), and an order of KEFTEDES (spicy meatballs with yogurt!!).
then Shaunice ordered the mahi-mahi (i tried to convince her to just get the one mahi, because she really wasn't that hungry after our appetizers), A ordered KATSIKI (some kind of baby goat stew or something), and i had the delicious MAKARONI (a familiar name, but not a familiar flavor. still delicious.). and of course we all ate off one another's plates (except no one really touched A's stew).
the chef's homemade ice cream selection was tempting, but we were all too satisfied to have another bite. we couldn't even finish our wine! for shame...

the only slightly negative aspect of our dining experience came when our passive-aggressive waiter asked, "would you like me to clear these dishes so that you guys can take more pictures?" i'll admit, we were a little over-zealous with the photography. i mean, you know how it is after a bottle of wine...

OH, another noteworthy item: the Kanella chef uses only hormone-, antibiotic-, and pesticide-free ingredients, which has been a huge priority for me this week.

if i weren't moving so far away (4 minutes via taxi), i'd definitely visit Kanella again and again.

i recommend!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

you have not won.

Gigi: I would rather be like that than be like you.

Alex: Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?

Gigi: I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much, but at least that means that I still care.

Oh! You think you've won because women are expendable to you?! You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way, but you don't fall in love that way, either.

You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are.

there. i gave you the only good part. don't bother watching it for yourself.

needed you to know

I'm heaven sent,
don't you dare forget.
I am all you've ever wanted,
what all the other boys all promised.

Sorry I told,
I just needed you to know.

brand new.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

really grinds my gears

i'm about to start a new series on this blog entitled "retarded CNN story of the day," because there are just so many that are noteworthy.

i mean, i know that media outlets often scrape the bottom of the barrel to come up with crap to talk about, but this one really takes the cake.

yes, i understand that it's newsworthy when our language reaches 1,000,000 words. that's fun. thanks for sharing, CNN.

oh, except the millionth word IS NOT A WORD!!!!!

guess what they're calling the new word. GUESS. you'll never guess.

"web 2.0"

really, CNN? REALLY?

it's not a new word, it's just a
n old word (with origins dating back to 900 AD!) and a number next to it. two can play at this game. i've decided to invent word number 1,000,001.

"Poop 100"

there it is. if tomorrow's a slow news day, you MAY even see my word on the CNN ticker.


thanks to my buddy andy for the ad hoc graphic!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

quote of the week, thus far

"But really, I am still not happy. You can at least pretend to be happy, because your life looks good on paper."

-a dear friend to me, as we discuss the directions in which our li
ves are spiraling.

for the record, our gmail chains make me happy.

it's the little things...

rule for life #74

be quiet every now and again. it's good to be quiet some days, regardless of the reason.
or regardless of a reason, in fact. because it doesn't mean that anything is necessarily wrong.

how i arrived at the office

except -- you know -- without the flawless model physique to support me in the wet oxford shirt contest.

Monday, June 8, 2009

i second that emotion

this morning i had one of those "omigod, FINALLY somebody said it!" moments after reading an article entitled,

"What the F*ck Happened to TV?"

(censorship mine)

my buddy Patrick, who loves all television as if he personally gave birth to it, is not going to be very pleased with this article, but it definitely brightened my day and brought a smile to my face.

while i have only seen 2 of the 4 shows the writer lambastes, i can't imagine the other two are even worth sitting down for.

i think the following commentary on The Hills is the greatest truth spoken since Moses handed down the Ten Commandments:

I don’t know who any of these people are, or what they did to become famous. I don’t even totally know how many different characters are on this show. I didn’t realize there was more than one blondish white chick until two of them were on screen together. I watched 30 minutes before I understood that these three girls were different people.

finally, if you're a fan of that Jon & Kate show, you might not want to even click here.

note to self

possibly the biggest drawback to having 4+ margaritas on a school night is the sugar high that will keep you up all. night. long.

don't even get me started on my glycemic index levels.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Thursday, June 4, 2009

outta my, outta my head

where are we heading?

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"

"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.

"I don't much care where --" said Alice.

"Then it doesn't matter which way you go," said the Cat.

"--so long as I get somewhere," Alice added as an explanation.

"Oh, you're sure to do that," said the Cat," if you only walk long enough."


Wednesday, June 3, 2009

my morning smile

this one's for you, cass.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

good for zee gays?

A. passed along to me the link to a very interesting article on Gawker that i just have to share, entitled "But is Bruno Good for the Gays?"

as you probably know, Sacha Baron Cohen has created another Borat-type documentary, this one focusing on americans' reactions to a gay -- well, a very, very gay -- european in their midst.

as a huge Borat fan, i cannot wait to see Bruno. but i have to, until july.

if you saw Borat, you know it's just as offensive as it is hilarious. it rubbed plenty of people the wrong way, giving rise not only to countless lawsuits, but also to cries of antisemitism (" case the repeat their attack of 9/11...") and sexism ("look! there is a woman in a car! can we follow her and maybe make sexy time with her?"). Bruno is expected to bring more of the same, while outing plenty of homophobes and exposing comical levels of bigotry in the US of A.

but, as Richard Lawson asks in the Gawker article, will this hilarious farce be good for the gays or not?

Doesn't a movie like Bruno kind of, for those who want to see it that way, reinforce an idea that gay men are silly, frivolous, outrageous mincers who are vain and shallow at best and sex-crazed and oblivious at worst? Sure "we" (the liberal elite, the frippering coastals) get it, but there's no lesson guide handed out when you buy the ticket. Same as some people complained that Borat came, in its hyperbole, half circle and ended up being antisemitic, Bruno could be viewed as a benediction to those most rigid in their prejudices that, yes, they were right all along about those homosexuals. And if that's the case, then I'd say we really don't need another satire that only "we" get.

does Lawson make a good point? could this be just as damaging to homoprogress as it is supportive? i guess it's possible.

i really don't know if Borat changed many minds, or enlightened any hicks in the midwest. i hope it did, and i know that if i were one of the on-screen casualties of Borat's antics, i would certainly re-think my racism and ethnocentrism. in my mind, if Bruno embarrasses even a few people - hopefully not only those who are punked on screen - then it's making progress. bigots and homophobes should be embarrassed. they should start to second-guess who's hearing them or watching them. certainly, as the Borat "co-stars" won't soon forget, "you never know when there's a camera on you."

will there be jokes at the expense of gays? sure. that's just a part of comedy. will i be offended? no. i'll be laughing my arse off.

i like SBC, and i like the messages he tries to send. also, i'm pretty sure i'm not the only one who understands the meaning of his movies. nor do i think that understanding is limited to the liberals or the gays. i think this movie has a higher chance of being a net win for gay progress.

what do you think?

Monday, June 1, 2009

just grew three sizes.

my heart, that is. not the puppy.

like an uncle in the military, i have to be content with receiving photos of my niece while i'm deployed.

thanks, manuelito.

edwards says...

Happiness is like manna; it is to be gathered in grains, and enjoyed every day.

It will not keep; it cannot be accumulated; nor have we got to go out of ourselves or into remote places to gather it, since it has rained down from Heaven, at our very doors.