So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

by the pricking of your thumbs...

Crystal water turns to dark
Where ere its presence leaves its mark
And boiling currents pound like drums
When something wicked this way comes...

A presence dark invades the fair
And gives the horses ample scare
Chaos rains and panic fills the air
When something wicked this way comes...

Ill winds mark it's fearsome flight,
And autumn branches creak with fright.
The landscape turns to ashen crumbs,
When something wicked this way comes...

Flowers bloom as black as night
Removing color from your sight
Nightmarish vines block your way
Thorns reach out to catch their prey

And by the pricking of your thumbs
Realize that their poison numbs
From frightful blooms, rank odors seep
Bats & beasties fly & creep

'Cross this evil land, ill winds blow
Despite the darkness, mushrooms glow
All will rot & decompose
For something wicked this way grows...

from the obviously-titled 'Something Wicked this Way Comes,' by Ray Bradbury.

that ish used to scare me so hard when i was young (probably into my teens, honestly). the book, the animated film. ...shivers down my spine just thinking about it.

no cartoon should be that scary, and no parent should allow a sensitive, young (14-year-old) child to watch such a terrifying film.

at any rate...
as i'm sure you know, 'tis the night when the realm of the living is dangerously near to the realm of the dead.

happy halloweeeeeen. and good luck out there...

Friday, October 30, 2009

our time down here

Don't you realize? The next time you see sky, it'll be over another town. The next time you take a test, it'll be in some other school. Our parents, they want the best of stuff for us. But right now, they got to do what's right for them. Because it's their time. Their time! Up there!

Down here, it's our time. It's our time down here.

i can't find my copy of one of my favorite movies of all time, so i took to the ever-useful internets for help with my potential Halloween costume. while trying to find photos of the sexy sweatsuit worn by Brand Walsh (played by a young and studly Josh Brolin) in The Goonies, i came across this inspiring carpe diem quote by a misty-eyed young, pre-hobbit Sean Astin, who played treasure-hunting Mikey.

oh, and is it just me, or does he remind you SO MUCH of Eric from Entourage?

i feel like they're the same person, but maybe this is like my Emily Blunt/Katy Perry/Zooey Deschanel conspiracy theory.

at any rate...

i'm still debating whether to dress as a Goonie for Halloween, though the sweatpants-in-a-dance-club idea kinda turns me on. but in the meantime i wanted to share little Mikey's speech and remind you - and me, primarily - to live in the moment.

it's our time, down here. i know i'm not the only person who struggles to live in the present, especially when the present can be rainy and miserable and exhausting thanks to these things called jobs... so take it for what it's worth. and watch The Goonies again soon. it's a classic. and if you have my DVD, i want it back.


*Goonies DVD

Thursday, October 29, 2009

thank you, mr. postman

arrived home last night to find my new Men's Health, and i was pleasantly surprised.

Monday, October 26, 2009

jobs says...

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.

And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.

If you haven't found it yet, keep looking, and don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Thursday, October 22, 2009

word of the day, part II

well, expression of the day, more accurately:

tilting at windmills

one of the benefits of working for a prolix old man is that i pick up many new and mysterious colloquialisms and unique expressions.

i often have to google them to even understand what he was talking about, and this most recent is a fantastic find. i've read Don Quixote: El Hombre de la Mancha but had never heard this lexical golden nugget until yesterday.

thanks to The Phrase Finder for help with expressions like the one above, as well as 'jump the shark.' how did people find answers before the internets?

dahl says...

And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you, because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places.

Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Lois, the wise black receptionist says... Part II

"I play internet poker. I don't need no internet porn. I don't even belong to MyFacebook or MyTube.
I took a test that said I'm doin' good for my age, so I'm fine. I told my sister that and she asks, 'Lois, have you been drinking?' I said to her, 'It don't matter if I HAVE been drinking, because I'm telling the truth.' "

she's still the light of my life, and a wellspring of wisdom in an uncertain age.

Monday, October 19, 2009

outta my, outta my head

the first time ever i saw your face
i thought the sun rose in your eyes
and the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
to the dark and the empty skies, my love
to the dark and the empty skies

the first time ever i kissed your mouth
and felt your heart beat close to mine
like the trembling heart of a captive bird
that was there at my command, my love
that was there at my command

cannot get Roberta Flack out of my head today, but i'm not complaining. it's one of the most calming, soothing songs i've ever heard.

do yourself a favor and take a mental break by listening here, while also enjoying a ridiculously cheesy homemade slideshow that accompanies the song.

Leona Lewis's kinda amazing cover here.

my morning smile

one of my favorite dogs dressed up as Whitney for Halloween.

Me: WELL? Did she win?
Manuel: No and there were 15 prizes!!!!! I don't think that they liked that we dressed our dog as a messy hooker, what with all the children participating in the contest...

this dog, by the way, is very tolerant of her fathers' antics.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Friday, October 16, 2009

everybody's got their something

as i lay in bed, about to be lulled to sleep by the soft and steady tap of rain on my wall o' windows, i heard a shout.


then some clapping, followed by what i assume is the very sound advice of a lifelong fan: "No, don't do that!"

more clapping.

a few "Yeah!"s.

i'll admit that, in general, i've never really understood peoples' love of watching televised sports. this phenomenon has never made sense to me, despite growing up in a family full of sports-loving men. but i feel like even if i were a sports fan, i'd still find it strange that a fairly normal twenty-five year old girl would sit alone in her dark living room and hoot and clap and even give advice to the Phillies.

i don't care that this same oddity was occurring all over the city; i'd never be caught engaging in that sort of silliness.

though as i stared at my ceiling, chuckling to myself and listening to the claps and excited utterances coming down the hall from my living room, i realized that my judgment was just a little bit hypocritical. i'm a pretty big fan myself -- just not of sports.

it probably began in high school, when i'd talk to Ally McBeal on the screen. i don't know if i've ever given advice to the tv characters, but i've definitely yelled, cried, and reacted in shock at times, like when Serena on Gossip Girl confessed that she "killed someone," or gasped in disgust when we found out Justin was dating his own sister on Bros 'n Hos.

i guess i'm starting to sympathize with sports fans. in the end, what's the difference between (1) an engaging plot line involving well-known characters on a dramatic series and (2) a suspenseful reality-based storyline involving well-known players on a sports field? the guy on the edge of his seat watching a playoff game isn't that different from my grandma, left in suspense from day to day about the latest plot twist on The Young and the Restless.

eventually both series end, and the fans' lives aren't affected in any way, regardless of the outcome. your team is the world series champion? so what, they're just going to do it all over again next year, and once again it will have no effect on your life. an Emmy-winning performance on your fave show? who cares, your life is still the same boring mess, and YOU have no award on your mantle.

sports fans, soap opera addicts, and those of us obsessed with anything on the CW alike, we're all after the same sense of drama and suspense. does that give anyone an excuse to hoot and clap and -- by the sounds of it -- celebratorily bounce on the sofa while totally alone in front of a television? i submit that it does not.

if shaunice catches me clapping some night while watching Vampire Diaries, i'll humbly retract the above submission.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

kafka says...

You need not do anything.
Remain sitting at your table and listen.
You need not even listen, just wait.
You need not even wait,
just learn to be quiet, still and solitary.
And the world will freely offer itself to you unmasked.
It has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Road

He was a long time going to sleep. After a while he turned and looked at me. His face in the small light streaked with black from the rain like some old world thespian.

Can I ask you something? he said.
Yes. Of course.

Are we going to die?
Sometime. Not now.
And we're still going south.
So we'll be warm.
Okay what?
Nothing. Just okay.
Go to sleep.
I'm going to blow out the lamp. Is that okay?
Yes. That's okay.

And then later in the darkness: Can I ask you something?
Yes. Of course you can.
What would you do if I died?
If you died I would want to die too.
So you could be with me?
Yes. So I could be with you.

there's something about this novel. it's heartbreaking. it's bleak. it's strangely lovely. it's about a father and son. it's about holding someone you love and knowing that he or she is all that matters. it brought tears.

just promise me you'll read it, okay? okay.

Friday, October 9, 2009

outta my, outta my head

when you're young, you have this image of your life

that you'd be scrupulous and one day even make a wife
and you make boundaries you'd never dreamed to cross
then if you happen to, you wake - completely lost
but i will fight for you
be sure that i will fight
until we're the special two once again

this beautiful but totes depressing song has been stuck in my head for almost a week.

no matter how many times i play I'M IN MIAMI, TRICK or Run This Town, my brain keeps coming back to The Special Two.

the crazy thing is, the old song isn't even on miPod or computer. i haven't heard it in ages, but it's on an old Starbucks soundtrack that may or may not exist somewhere in my apartment. isn't that the way with a favorite song? you don't need to listen to it regularly, but you often hear it in your head.

tonight i'll look for that cd and hopefully put the very talented Missy Higgins onto my iPod. you should, too.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

if i just breathe

When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun; then you grow up and learn to be cautious -- you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap, and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net.

When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

oh carrie... you always know the right questions to ask.

this episode comes to mind every time Breathe plays on my iPod, and then i re-play the trapeze scene in my head, every time.

Monday, October 5, 2009

quote of the week, thus far

"Alcohol doesn't really count as a luxury item - - it's like feeling bad cos you spent too much on bread."

-a very wise bloke i know.


1. supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment
2. crawling into bed in a chilly room, thanks to open windows letting in the autumn, then getting up to grab a quilt to throw on top.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

let's go somewhere

i have to agree. well, obviously -- otherwise i probably wouldn't share this photo.

after the past few months of going about life half-heartedly, taking it day by day and primarily trying to get by, i don't feel very content. something's gotta give. i gotta get moving.

so this morning i'm challenging myself to go forward wholeheartedly, take risks, and maybe lose a little of my security in order to gain something much more important in this very short, sometimes incredibly sweet life.

thank you all for your support.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

stop before you fall

Do you ever put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin?

Well, that’s what love is like.

Everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going.