So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Friday, December 12, 2008

i won't even wish for snow

Dear Santa,

I've given the issue serious consideration over the past several weeks, and I've finally decided on a 2008 Christmas wish.

I would like an illegally imported giant panda cub like this one:

If I had this little cuddle-face living with me, I would be the happiest little boy on planet Earth. Just to warm the cockles of your oversized, at-risk heart a bit more, here's another photo of what exactly I'm looking for.

I'd like one in this size and this approximate color pattern, but if you have to get it a size smaller, I'll make due. I mean, I've been wearing all my clothing a size too small for YEARS, but you don't see me asking for new clothes under my Winter Solstice tree, do you? No. Because I'm frugal. I don't live an extravagant lifestyle, and I would never ask for something that I didn't absolutely need.

Santa baby, I absolutely need this baby panda. Don't let me down. Or I'll find you, I swear to--...

In Christ,


p.s. Santa, if you are absolutely unable, after reasonably diligent efforts, to obtain for me the gift that I truly want, then I will try to be understanding. If that happens to be the case, I ask only that, in the alternative, you would strike Atticus Finch with a serious yet not life-threatening thyroid disorder so that he gains so much weight that he resembles a giant panda cub, sans the white fur.

1 comment:

ASH said...

In Christ! ha. too funny.