"subconscious." by Calvin Klein

i try not to give away too many of my dating secrets, but last night i shared one of my tricks with some friends, and they liked the idea.  i figured i should share it with all y'all and ask if you think it's crazy or creepy.  you're always so great about commenting and e-mailing me with honest reactions to my confessions.


i don't think that what i'm about to tell you is creepy -- if i did, i wouldn't be sharing it with the blogosphere -- but i admit that it's somewhat manipulative.  


we all know that our memories are closely linked to our senses of smell.  for years, i've tried to harness that link to subtly manipulate the guys i like.  when i'm getting to know someone new, someone i really like, i make sure to always wear the same cologne around him.  this might seem like a no-brainer to you if you have one cologne or perfume and wear nothing else; however, if you're like me and have a collection of scents, you can try this tactic.  i think that people will subconsciously associate a familiar scent with good times, such as when a romance is blossoming.  to be able to remind someone of your first kiss or your first night together, even a year later, could be very powerful.


an aside about scents:  i have about 7 or 8 colognes in rotation. while that may be excessive (shopping for fragrances is something that i really enjoy), everyone should have at least two, because a scent that's great in the winter isn't necessarily great in the summer.  for example, i wear a heavy, strong Versace cologne in cold months but would never wear it on a hot summer day, when perspiration can make a strong fragrance overpowering and unpleasant.  for summer months, Clinique and Nautica are my go-to's.  this is important stuff, people.


by way of illustration, i'll tell you about my courtship of my ex, A, several years ago.  our relationship began as a friendship, mostly because i didn't know he liked boys, but the first night that we kissed i was wearing Dolce & Gabbana.  it was a great night.  fun and memorable.  after that, i made sure to wear the same scent every time we went on a date.  despite finding other great colognes and wearing them around him socially, i never failed to wear D&G when we had one-on-one dates.  


does this seem crazy?  it makes so much sense to me, i'm almost religious about it. recently, the effectiveness of this tactic was confirmed.  the first night that i knew i'd be sleeping over at the Doctor's house, i wore a great TokyoMilk scent that i've loved for years but rarely wear in public because it's a fairly feminine scent.  the first time that he slept at my apartment, i spritzed myself with the fragrance before bed.  last week when the now long-distance Doctor visited me at home, he told me he always loved my smell.  little does he know, i orchestrated that.  


another ex once told that me i always smelled like fabric softener.  i did, but only around him.


it's not my goal to have a distinct scent for every partner in my life.  in fact, it's not my goal to have more than one boyf.  my goal is to meet my future husband and, some day down the line -- five or ten years from now -- still be wearing a scent that will remind him of when we first met, when we were young and new in one another's life.  i just hope YSL never stops making my favorite cologne.  that's a potential risk with this trick.


so what do you think?  am i insane? manipulative?  do i just have too much time on my hands, making me mindful of these things?




oh, by the way, don't tell anyone.  i don't want the men of Maryland catching on to my wiles.  our little secret.