outta my, outta my head

when you're young, you have this image of your life
that you'd be scrupulous and one day even make a wife
and you make boundaries you'd never dreamed to cross
then if you happen to, you wake - completely lost
but i will fight for you
be sure that i will fight
until we're the special two once again

this beautiful but totes depressing song has been stuck in my head for almost a week.

no matter how many times i play I'M IN MIAMI, TRICK or Run This Town, my brain keeps coming back to The Special Two.

the crazy thing is, the old song isn't even on miPod or computer. i haven't heard it in ages, but it's on an old Starbucks soundtrack that may or may not exist somewhere in my apartment. isn't that the way with a favorite song? you don't need to listen to it regularly, but you often hear it in your head.



tonight i'll look for that cd and hopefully put the very talented Missy Higgins onto my iPod. you should, too.

if i just breathe

When you’re young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun; then you grow up and learn to be cautious -- you could break a bone, or a heart. You look before you leap, and sometimes you don’t leap at all because there’s not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there is no safety net.

When did it stop being fun and start being scary?

oh carrie... you always know the right questions to ask.

this episode comes to mind every time Breathe plays on my iPod, and then i re-play the trapeze scene in my head, every time.

quote of the week, thus far

"Alcohol doesn't really count as a luxury item - - it's like feeling bad cos you spent too much on bread."

-a very wise bloke i know.

bliss

–noun

1.	supreme happiness; utter joy or contentment

2. crawling into bed in a chilly room, thanks to open windows letting in the autumn, then getting up to grab a quilt to throw on top.

let's go somewhere

i have to agree. well, obviously -- otherwise i probably wouldn't share this photo.

after the past few months of going about life half-heartedly, taking it day by day and primarily trying to get by, i don't feel very content. something's gotta give. i gotta get moving.

so this morning i'm challenging myself to go forward wholeheartedly, take risks, and maybe lose a little of my security in order to gain something much more important in this very short, sometimes incredibly sweet life.

thank you all for your support.

stop before you fall

Do you ever put your arms out and just spin and spin and spin?

Well, that’s what love is like.

Everything inside of you tells you to stop before you fall, but you just keep going.

but what?

my morning smile

i've mentioned it before, but this will serve as a reminder of the fun blog, Passive-Aggressive Notes. i have to go back and check this site occasionally, as it's a great distraction from a busy or stressful day.

let me share just a few of my recent faves, like the passive-aggressive yet loving christian (aren't they all?):


i can't get enough of the passive-aggressive office mate notes. you know you've worked with people like that...


also, the blogger's commentary is often chuckle-worthy. definitely worth checking out some afternoon when you're bored. especially if you enjoy guilt trips from grandma:

or people who say sorry when they really aren't sorry. at all.

coupland says...

And then I felt sad because I realized that once people are broken in certain ways, they can’t ever be fixed, and this is something nobody ever tells you when you are young and it never fails to surprise you as you grow older, as you see the people in your life break one by one. You wonder when your turn is going to be, or if it has already happened.

a deep, though hauntingly pessimistic, thought that i timely came across and that i had to share.

and a strange coincidence. i very recently had a conversation with friend X about friend Y, who's been going through some tough ish. we discussed how some people get down and don't ever quite come back up to where they were, with regards to levels of happiness or positivity. you know, if set levels existed.

i'd like it to be absurd. i'd like to think that anyone can find ways to regain his or her past state of childlike innocence -- joy, even. simplicity.

buddha gives us many helpful hints, but at the end of the day, i believe, the secret is different for everyone.

in the meantime, i'm telling myself that -- whatever it takes, however it happens -- for the broken people among us, eventually hope will just... float up.

dostoevsky says...

We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken.

rule for life #854

life is about choices. sometimes life requires us to make difficult choices. and the decisions we make speak volumes about our values and priorities.

as an example, this afternoon i wanted a snack. i have, in the office refrigerator, some nice apples. i was going to have an apple. but then i saw, on the other side of the room, a plate of birthday cookies. huuuuge birthday cookies.

difficult decision. the huge choco chip cookie is so tempting, but my apple is healthy and would tide me over until dinner.

so i ate an apple. then i ate a cookie. problem solved.

that's life.

the power of HBO

postsecret.

for the bible tells me so

new hero

move over, Chelsea Handler.
i finally saw The September Issue, and i've found a new bitch to place on a pedestal. and her name is Anna.



as for the film: it was good. really good, actually. so subtle. contextual, i guess. if you hadn't heard about AW or hadn't seen TDWP, you might not know what to look for.

i highly recommend it.

gotta get through this

two weeks. that's what i'm reminding myself.
hang in there for two more weeks, and then you'll be here:


it's no time at all, two weeks. the time will go by quickly, i think, because i'll be chained to my desk.

no time at all...