So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Saturday, February 4, 2012

rule for life #119

When your romantic relationship with a person has come to an end, stop sleeping with that person.

you would think that i would've/should've/could've learned this lesson from my previous two break-ups, but apparently i did not.  one of those break-ups was a tough, tumultuous, 8-year off-and-on debacle, and the other was a year-long experiment in loving a newbie.  in each case i made the almost fatal mistake of continuing to sleep with the person i loved after the relationship ended.

now i'm doing it again.  ugh.  sometimes, i really hate me.  not often, though.  

let me back up.  if you haven't been reading my blog since i moved to the city of Baltimore, you might not know that i've been dating a truly lovely foreign surgeon who told me on our second date that his program was ending within the next year and that he most likely would not be staying in the DC/Metro area.  

now you're caught up, and NO, this is not the plot of a stupid rom-com.  it's real life, y'allz.  oh, also, my new drunkover favorite has changed from P.S. I Love You to The Wedding Date. (i mention this because a lot of my readers e-mail and comment on PSILY posts, regardless of how many times i write them, and i still heart that movie, but, i'm kind of moving on.)

this week we finally had the emotionless, realistic, logical conversation that has been coming for a while: 

D: I'm not going to be staying in Baltimore. 
Me: I assumed as much.  Drat!  Awful.  Do you have any attractive co-workers with whom you might set me up?

that's not exactly how it went, but it's close.  i omitted some tears and also a trip to Hole Foods, during which i spent $40 and after which i had nothing to eat.  isn't that the way with that grocery store?  yes, is your answer.

where was i? oh, we're going to be great friends.  at least until he moves back to whatever country from whence he came.  but there's only one problem:

the sleepovers. 


how do you let go of that thin string of comfort onto which i have a horrible habit of holding?  h h h alliteration is cool.  

why have i not learned my lesson by now?  i'm fully aware that, despite my single and ready to mingle status, i absolutely will NOT mingle while there is the prospect of coming home to a bed filled with him.

in my mind, i'm perfectly free and open to meeting new people.  my body, on the other hand, wants to return to the spoon position to which it has become accustomed in the past 5 months, the annoying snores and nightfarts (mine, not his. just being 100 here) that have become commonplace in either bed, the early morning wake-ups and pager noises that are foreign to anyone outside of the medical field (seriously, why are they still using pagers?  pagers go hand in hand with leeches and blood-letting.  both of those are from the 1990's, right?).  it's comfortable.  why would i expend time and energy on something new?

but then, comfort kept me in an unhappy relationship for 8 years.  comfort kept me from talking to strangers in networking and social situations.  comfort killed the cat (not Atticus. nothing could kill that recovering bulimic).  comfort is a cage.

it's time to get uncomfortable.  i'm going out dancing tonight, and i'm gonna get uncomfortable with some unlucky guys.  wait.... that doesn't sound right.


cijlove said...

you and me both, buddy. i'll never learn. AND i'll have to hit you up next time i'm in bmore :-)


sally said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lifebeginsat30ty said...

Well he's going to be gone at some point, right? Why not enjoy it until then? Sounds like you always knew it was going to end anyway, so not very different now versus before the conversation except that it's more real, yes?

Piney said...

I feel for ya.. but missing the PAGERS??!! The number of times I've wanted to throw it against the wall for an inappropriate page... :-/ Though they may be archaic, you live a fearful existence when everyone has your phone number at work.

On another note, I mentioned your honey facial-y thing to one of my GFs and now she's all up in my grill trying to find out what to do. Tips please?

QEblog said...

You and I need to run away together. My BF... I mean my ex and I have broken up three times. Each time we end up in the same bed a few days after the break up and end up getting back together. Do I learn my lesson? We broke up two weeks ago. As of Sunday, we are still broken up, but we are now sleeping in the same bed... True story.

tobethatguy said...

Piney, it's really quite simple: spread a thin layer of real honey (as opposed to honey flavored syrup, which is prevalent in the States) on your facial skin. Lick your lips often. Rinse off with cold or tepid water after about 45 minutes.

Piney said...

Thanks Matt, just tried it out for the first time this boring (as I'm home in ireland visiting the family). Cant say it has amazed me first time round, but you have to try these things a few times over a couple of weeks to appreciate the difference. I'll let ya know! Also did not even realise honey syrup existed, what do you do to food over there??!! I'm still shuddering over the creation of cheese in a tube..