"And just like that, I lost my head..."

and my job.

as my third anniversary at the firm approached, my desperation was becoming almost unbearable. for a long time, i felt trapped. IN THIS ECONOMY, i told myself, there's nothing i can do. wait it out. wade through it. no options to weigh. tell myself the same thing the next day.

my close friends and confidantes provided conflicting advice, though all intended to be in my best interest. "just put in your time, and when the market changes, you can go somewhere else" stood chest-to-chest with "you're too young to be this unhappy" and "if you don't like it, do something else and stop whining about it."

of course i didn't stop whining. i whined louder and wined more.

at the end of my rope, i did the best technique i know for getting what i want. i wrote it down. repeatedly. "i do not want to be here anymore." "i do not want to be here anymore."

friday afternoon i got the news. i was anxious. i had mixed emotions for a while. but two words kept running through my mind throughout the weekend.

thank god.