So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Hunger Date

when the doctor called a few days ago "just to catch up," i was caught off-guard.  we've talked often since the dating game ended, but we hadn't seen one another in person for a while.  because of my surprise, i failed to -- as my roommate called it -- "hide the eagerness."  

doc: I really want to see The Hunger Games.
me: Yeah, so do I.  It looks awesome. 
doc: Did you read the books? 
me: Yeah -- well, the first one.  It's really good.  I can't wait to see the movie. 
doc: I'm on call this weekend, but, um, what are you doing Monday night?

and just like that, we had a "date."  a friend date, though.  we're just friends.  he's leaving the country/hemisphere.  these are the things that i told myself during the time leading up to The Hunger Date.  

i didn't have too much time to be nervous, though, since i had a novel to read by Monday night.  you see, i hadn't actually read The Hunger Games when i told the doctor that i had read, and enjoyed, The Hunger Games.  oops.  sometimes i lie to guys.  

i spent Saturday evening in bed (yes, i gave up a night of drinkdancing) reading THG.  i was on the edge of my comforter.  it may have been written for teenagers, but The Hunger Games has everything i needed to get hooked into a fascinating, gruesome, page-turning story.  i simply couldn't put it down, and not only because i needed to have read it by Monday's date.  i read until 2:30 AM and enjoyed every minute of it.  

okay, people, i can sense your judgment from THIS FAR AWAY.  i know, it was somewhat desperate.  i'm hungry for romantic time with a man who i enjoy, and the doctor and i have great chemistry.  whether the night held in store a kiss or a cuddle or even just that special movie theatre lean-in, i wanted it.  i was out to get it.  i was hungry for some quality time.   my roommate assumed that i just wanted sexy time, which i promise you was not the case.  

"Okay, see you in the morning," she said as i checked my intentionally bouffant hair and got ready to walk out the door.  

unfortunately, i saw her at home three hours later.  

there was no kissing.  there was no sleepover.  there was only that special movie theatre lean-in, throughout most of the movie, during which i should've suggested that he sit in my seat, since it appeared that he so badly wanted to be there.  i, on the other hand, played it cool, boy.  reeeeal cool.  

i let him lean onto me during the gruesome parts of the film (which is so vanilla compared to the gory details of the novel).  i told him that i miss him and that it was good seeing him.  but i did not walk him home, four blocks from the theater.  i insisted upon an intersection good-bye.  i allowed a hug.  i was a good friend and a good movie companion.  because we are friends.  we are companions.  

i would never admit it to him, but i was hungry for much more.  

1 comment:

Piney said...

Awwwww!!!! Hope you're feeling alright about it x