So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

the day the earth stood still


the day began like any other.

i woke up, shaved and dressed despite being at least half asleep. walked the 15 minutes to work. new iPod Touch keeps getting stuck on "repeat song." annoying. i should learn how to work that thing. got to work. homepage. news. my boss sent me an e-mail at 5:15 am. and i thought i was an early bird. checkin' da blogrolllllll. what's going o

what.
the.
eff?

my favorite blog, the one that keeps me awake, the one that can make me laugh on even the most stressful of days, is -- gulp -- blocked. no more dlisted? really?

wait, no gossip blogs whatsoever? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? i don't even like perez, but at least it's something! but no. they're all blocked. adult content? mature? no way!



i didn't really think anything of it yesterday when i received a firm-wide e-mail about temporary interference with e-mail, internet, blah blah, new firewall, blah blah.

i didn't realize that our IT guy would take away my very source of joy, my fount of pleasure and entertainment in the weary desert of corporate 9-5 life. i weep. i had a dream.

of course, it's not in my nature to accept the horrors brandished in my face by fate. that terrible disease called "employment" has ruined enough of my life already; i won't let it win. to adulthood i cry, "NO THANK YOU PLEASE!"

no thank you, indeed. i shall overcome.

a quick stop on my iGoogle homepage, and i add a few blogs to my Google Reader, and TA-DA!


all better.


that was a close one.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

rule for life # I WISH


on those long work days during which you expend great amounts of mental energy, there is no need to go to the gym or otherwise expend extra physical energy.

Monday, August 10, 2009

things i'll never say -- or will i?

below is a blog entry i posted over a year ago. at the time, a very close friend of mine was preparing to start law school; naturally, i took it upon myself to offer some hindsightful perspective and advice that first-year law students aren't likely to hear at orientation.

this week my dear roommate, shaunice, is starting her 3-year journey through law school. i thought i should re-post for her benefit...

* * *

two days a week, i work as a tour guide. continuing in the tradition of my part-timing tour guide days at grove city, i now lead prospective and admitted students around the law school "campus," smiling all the way. not fake smiling, either. it's genuine.

my disclaimer to my tour-ees when they ask about my law school experience is that i probably wouldn't be giving tours were i not having a pretty fantastic experience. and, to an extent, the same was true in undergrad. i've had great experiences, and i'm happy to tell people about them as i orient them to campus.

there are some things i don't say, though -- either because the tour-ees don't ask, or because i prefer to be encouraging, or simply because i view myself as a PR rep for the school, and my employers would prefer that i leave out the negatives. and that's understandable. i want to shine the very best light on my alma mater.

lately, though, i feel compelled to offer advice to the incoming or prospective law students. why? well, possibly because i'm finishing my tenure and can reflect upon the past three years. also, i know several people entering law school in the near future, and i sincerely care about their sanity and success. so before i'm out the door, onto the fun job i have lined up and into the working world, i'd like to share with you my advice for how to succeed in law school, entitled:

how to "succeed" in law school

1. grades matter. in fact, grades are the only thing that matters.

sound harsh? well, it is. especially since your entire semester grade is based on one four-hour exam on a day when you may or may not feel up to it. you may or may not have a heavy-flow period, and you may or may not have severe anxiety-induced IBS.

adding insult to injury is the reality that the qualities that make someone a truly good lawyer will be ignored by many potential employers. these qualities include,
inter alia, social skills, networking skills, a genuine desire to use your energy and brain power for the good of our society, and even the simple desire to practice law.

i should, in all fairness, add that this applies only for certain jobs -- namely, the ones that pay well. other jobs, such as public sector and public interest jobs, are often doled out based upon desire to practice in that field, commitment to a position, professional capability and potential, etc.

2. you don't really have to learn the law to succeed in law school.

seriously, you don't. all you really have to do is cram. you'll spend 3 months taking 150 pages of notes, then you'll spend one month turning those 150 pages of notes into a 40 page outline, then you'll spend a week (at most, if you're a total nerd like my roommate and i were) before an exam memorizing those 40 pages so that you can do well on your exam.

next, you will forget everything you learned.

this is totally acceptable because, before you take the bar exam that will test you on "what you've learned in law school," you will re-learn (
more accurately, you will learn for the first time) everything - SERIOUSLY, EVERYTHING - you need to know about the law to pass that bar exam and be admitted to practice as an attorney.

does it seem wrong that all we really need to become attorneys is an expensive, 2-month long bar review course, rather than 3 years of
even more expensive law school? yes. is there anything you can do about it? no.

3. it's often about who you know.

but i'll start off with a caveat here, and that is this: don't let people fool you. i'll explain in a minute.

for many law students, "it" is about who you know. many of your classmates will get internships and jobs by virtue of who their parents are, who their parents know, who they've met at networking events, and how strategically they've aligned themselves.

the first two of these are disappointing if your parents aren't connected. the second two should encourage you to become involved in the legal community, go to lots of events (and enjoy the free food and liquor), and - most importantly - subtly flirt with the old attorney who really enjoys talking to a 20-something with a nice smile. it doesn't make you a prostitute (trust me), and he may ask you to e-mail him your resume.

now back to my caveat: don't let people fool you. don't allow yourself to feel like you're the only person in your first-year class without a father who's a lawyer or congressman. honestly, many of us are just ordinary people. some of us are first-generation law students, grad students, and even college students! that's nothing to be ashamed of. in fact, some might say it's something extra to be proud of, something that those other students don't have. it's called self-determined individuality. really, it is. i read it in a book.

4. you're going to be stressed out.

especially the first year. it's not that much fun.

you're going to want to cry, and drink. these are common urges that, across the board, every law student and certainly every first-year law student has felt.

what
isn't so consistent across the board is how people handle the stress. it is your decision how to handle your stress. if you accept that responsibility and decide how you will cope, i think you will be just fine. great, even.

as for me, well... i'll be honest. my first year, i cried. i can't count the number of late nights (
and weekend nights) i sat in the library on the verge of or already in tears. it didn't help to have friends from pittsburgh and a cute boy from DC calling just to say hi and, in their minds, be supportive by telling me they wished i were out having fun with them, "like old times."

after first year, things get better. in my case, second year i was just as stressed and anxious as the first; however, instead of crying, i drank. i went out. i had more fun. i put work aside more often, and in the long run, it was a better year.

5. you can make genuine friends in law school.

it will probably happen over a little gossip and a lot of beer.
and it will probably be with people who surprise you.


see my previous blog entitled "dirty hipsters..."


i've met some
very lovely people in law school, and most of them came out of the blue, such as on a random day in rome: "hi, what law school do you go to?" "um... i go to temple." "i'm sorry. somehow i've never met you before." "my name's taylor..."

6. comparing yourself to them will get you nowhere.

it's tempting - almost unavoidable - but leave this job to the faculty, who are grading you on a curve and comparing you to your classmates anyway.

accept the fact that you're going to be ranked below some people, and you're going to be ranked above some people... hopefully. it's not just law school; it's a fact of life.

and i quote: sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. the race is long; and in the end, it's only with yourself.

7. (and most importantly) be happy.

no matter how stressed or busy or exhausted you are, you need to be happy. let's be honest, you could die tomorrow. why would you waste one day, let alone three years?

that doesn't mean you shouldn't go to law school. you definitely should if you want to. but don't be miserable. nobody likes a sad kid :-)


Sunday, August 9, 2009

Saturday, August 8, 2009

for people who don't eat good

not to be a debbie downer or anything, but i have to suggest this fantastic article from NY Magazine about dining with a conscience.

it lays out some serious concerns over our most common foods, whether those concerns deal with a food's carbon footprint, its devastating effect on our environment, or just health concerns for people who eat them.

it doesn't stop there, though. the authors suggest better alternatives, whether they be replacement foods, locally-grown brands, or tips on how and when to eat certain foods.



the more you know...

Friday, August 7, 2009

unacceptable

today i opened up my Outlook calendar, and there on the screen, glaring at me from my THIS MONTH view, was labor day. already on the horizon.

i couldn't help but think how quickly the summer is passing by. passing me by, i should say...

Things I Wanted To Do This Summer:
  • go to the beach (and sit in the shade)
  • take a road trip to a destination farther away than central pennsylvania
  • read lots of books
  • keep "summer hours" at work
  • enjoy at least 1 happy hour a week (happy hour, singular, is misleading)
  • book a may-jah vacation for the fall
  • lose 50 pounds
  • buy a nice blue suit

Things I've Done:

  • not left the city. like, at all
  • read some books, but only 1 that i loved
  • spent way too much time at work
  • had a couple happy hours, but not nearly enough
  • watched weeks and months fly by
  • unsuccessfully tried to get friends to commit to a may-jah vacation
  • lost 5 pounds
  • gained 3 pounds back
  • bought a cute pair of blue pinstripe pants. now i have 3. ugh


i really need to re-prioritize, even if just for the final month of summer.


my morning smile


some of you sluts would need a body pillow...

Thursday, August 6, 2009

quote of the week, thus far


Allow [my story] to give you strength and comfort when you're feeling like maybe you're being or have been too slutty. You aren't. I set a new bar.

-a dear friend and one of my personal heroes, who shall remain nameless for the sake of her chastity.

no, not chelsea handler. one of my other heroes.


p.s. not again

If you can promise me anything,
promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure,
or you lose complete faith,
that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes.

we should all be so lucky....


also, i can't believe i'm still thinking about this stupid movie.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

i can stop worrying.

love never dies...


Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishing.

-anais nin

Monday, August 3, 2009

let me take you down...

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.

It’s getting hard to be someone, but it all works out.

It doesn’t matter much to me.


having a beatles cover kinda day.


spot-on



thanks to Tay for the heads' up on this. made my morning.


quote of the week, thus far


"Is it raining?"

-a paralegal at my firm, upon seeing how sweaty i was after a hot, humid, disgusting Pennsylvania summer morning walk to work.

i'll say it again: i hate summer.


Sunday, August 2, 2009

wonderful in the world

For years I thought we've shared this secret that we would be wonderful in the world. I don't know exactly how, but just the possibility kept me hoping. How pathetic is that? So stupid. To put all your hopes in a promise that was never made.

revolutionary road.
bleak.