So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

that means he likes you, part II

i'm going to go out on a limb and make another proclamation that many guys won't support -- won't want to support: men don't like to cuddle with you.

yeah.  i know, right? 

that sucks.  but they don't.  men aren't meant to serve as cuddlebuddies.  do you want to know why?

oh, well, because: we sweat, we like to move in our sleep, your heads are heavy, our arms are valuable, we like to retain feelings in our limbs, your hair tickles/itches, we hate when limbs feel like they're "asleep" especially when we're not yet (that feels like a slap in the face). 

so cuddling is not easy, nor is it enjoyable.  if it's post-orgasm*, it can feel like a chore.  if it's pre-orgasm, it can feel like an obligation.   but --- 

If he cuddles with you, if he holds you, for longer than the obligatory time period, that means he likes you.

it's not because he's comfortable.  i promise you, he's not.  if he's still holding you, he likes you.  he wants to be next to you.

guys are comfortable only when we're perfectly supported with strategically arranged blankets and impeccably situated pillows and precision-aimed fans.  no head has ever made our arms more comfortable than they were before you lay down.  no chin has ever made our chests more relaxed.  you grind your teeth and make noises in your sleep.  yeah, all of you.  

the thing is, that doesn't matter.  in the beginning, when it's fresh, when we're so happy to just be spending the night with you; none of that matters.  you can snuggle into whatever nook you prefer.  you can cuddle on whichever muscle best suits you.  you have free reign of this foreign body, as if you're a lion and it's your savannah.  why? because we want, at that moment, only your comfort.  your happiness.  

after the second or third date, if he's still holding onto you while you sleep, he seriously digs you.  belie'dat!

there's no more game involved -- he just wants to lie next to you.  yeah -- despite your morning breath or your sweat -- he is enjoying you so much.  he wants to be beside you.  i'm not saying this is a marriage proposal, so don't get too worked up; however, it is noteworthy.  he won't get a great night's sleep.  he wants to spend his early morning holding you despite the numbness in his arm.  he wants to make sure that you're comfortable even if your fat head is heavy on his chest.  that means he likes you.  

i know all this from experience.  i also know that it isn't always the gal who spends the night trying to cuddle onto her guy: sometimes it's the the guy who's the cuddler (in heterosexual terms, that is.  my roommate, a sexy female of the species, informs me).  

*i think that's the first time i've used the word "orgasm" in 4+ years of this blog.  oops.

1 comment:

Lifebeginsat30ty said...

I love t his series so much!

I think there is a time for cuddling and a time for sleep. I love me some nook time but i'm sorry, no one can sleep (comfortably) in that position! The end.

Please continue :)