So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

*POOF!* you’re poor but happy.

today was my first day working at my clinical -- a type of public interest internship, for those of you nonlegisparlantes. i will be working 10 hours a week at a center for gay and lesbian civil rights. i'm excited about it; i think it will be a fantastic experience. i guess i think it wil be beneficial in that "this will be good for you" sort of way. "this is going to really open your eyes."

it already has, but not in the way you might imagine. not yet, at least.

today i was introduced to a new type of lawyer. over the past few years, i've met a LOT of lawyers. a lllotttt. impatient, stressed out, hurriedly friendly, overpaid, often well-dressed lawyers. that's not the kind of lawyer that i'll be working with through my clinical.

the men and women i spent my day with were not the best-dressed professionals you might meet. in fact, they were all in jeans. not even expensive jeans! just...jeans. the office isn't nice. they're remodeling, but i doubt the final product will be very posh. the carpet is NOT pretty. no one there gets paid much, as you might imagine at an organization funded by donations from the public and government grants. our government isn't extremely generous with the lgbt community.

and these people deal with real problems -- life and death, losing my home, harrassed at work, victim of domestic violence, losing custody of my children kind of problems. real problems. real stress.

and i have to say i've never met a happier group of people. they are fun -- and funny! they make real jokes and don't worry about offending anyone. they talk about their lesbian lovers and adopted children as if they've known you for years, but really it's been a few hours. they were all very welcoming, and very normal. most of all, though, like i said: they were happy.

i'm not sure how this will affect my goal of becoming luxuriously wealthy and outfitting myself in only the finest threads and real estate investments.

i just don't know what to do with this epiphany.

don't tell anyone. i don't want to appear vulnerable.

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