So, this is my life.
And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
Friday, August 29, 2008
happy new year!
midnight on january 1st doesn't mean all that much to me. it never has. looking back, it always seems a little silly -- partly because i stare at photos from new years' parties and question the dating choices i made that particular year. that particular "plus 1" i brought to the party -- but mostly because we celebrate a new year at the wrong time. our lives simply aren't organized that way. never have been. the question is, will they ever be?
growing up, our new year began at the end of the summer. the fall was the harbinger of all things new. new teachers, new clothes, new must-see TV. in contrast, nothing new ever happened in january. we returned to the same classrooms, wore the same clothes we'd been wearing all winter (plus a few new sweaters and probably some underwear we found beneath the christmas tree or chanukah bush).
i don't know about you, but that cycle has never ended for me. maybe it's because i never left school. i attempted to remain the perpetual student forever, and for many years i succeeded. every fall i've gone back to school. every september, i've welcomed a new year in my life. new places, new acquaintances.
saying good-bye to summer remains my new year's eve. and it's time to do it again. ...we watch the season pull up its own stakes... as i write this, dashboard's "stolen" plays on repeat. it's a classic. promise me you'll listen to it at least once during the next few days, ok? promise. ...catch the last weekend of the last week... labor day sure did come fast this year.
for me, this new year is huge. at twenty-six, i've finally finished grad school and will, the day after labor day, enter the job market. i just swallowed a lump in my throat. i. am.excited. i've enjoyed my last summer vacation. now i'm joining the rest of you in the working world. ...another sun-soaked season fades away...
i can't help but wonder, will i soon begin feeling the new year's arrival in january? now that summer will no longer hold such promise and potential, will i join the rest of you in meaningful midnight toasts at the end of december?
or are you working stiffs still like your 12-year-old selves, turning a page this weekend and welcoming the new year along with the fall of the first leaves in the park? did you buy some back-to-school, fall fashions to wear back to work after labor day? did you make a resolution to pack your lunch every day this year?
here's wishing you a happy new year! enjoy your last weekend of summer. ...one good stretch before our hibernation... it'll be 2009 before we know it.