So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

it's now.

lately i've been catching myself thinking about when my life will "begin." i find myself wondering where i'll end up next, what i'll be doing, who i'll meet, what relationships are coming my way.

some days i feel like i'm in limbo. i tell people i'm "between jobs" and "between relationships." what i feel, though, is that i'm between episodes of my own life. how absurd, right? but we all do it, and we've done it all our lives.

we spend so much time just waiting for our lives to begin. just think of the years we've spent telling ourselves we just have to get over this one hurdle, obtain this next degree, get this certain job, meet a certain type of person, live a certain life -- THEN life will have begun.

we constantly view life as just over the next hill, but it's not over the next hill or hurdle or achievement. it's now. life is everything in between. it's the degree we're working on, the assignment we're trying to finish, the job we hate, break-up we're trying to get over.

if we're waiting for life to begin, we're missing the train. i'm missing the train.

P.S. do you know how hard it was for me to refrain from quoting John Lennon in this post?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.

So Funny you said that at the end, because I was thinking about it!