on the upswing

yesterday i googled 'how to improve my karma.'

i've been at the end of my rope, and i think it's about time that god cut me a break. in the past week, i have:

-experienced the shame of a baaad drunk night and having to be put to bed by dear friends
-gotten a mystery bruise that almost left me with a black eye
-cut my right foot while moving furniture
-eaten something that gave me --- er -- stomach issues for an entire day
-had two separate arguments with two separate exes, for zero real reasons
-lost a chunk of my left ring finger while sorting recycling (while i was trying to do something good! that ain't right.)
-had a fight with atticus, which left me bleeding and him once again the ruler of my house
-experienced a dreadfully awkward first (and last!) date at Valanni, a lovely restaurant that i must avoid for a while, long enough for the aura to improve
-accidentally called a long lost high school friend's mother a "fat whale," more or less, while catching up with that old friend over the phone

and that's only in a week. don't get me started on the past couple months.

apparently it's time that i start smiling at strangers, giving my granola bars to homeless people, and allowing only kind words to roll off my tongue. at least for a little while until i'm back on top.

happy holiday, everyone. may your god bless you and keep you. be well. pray for me.

namaste.