and the winner is...

we all know that dating is akward.  and if you've ever tried online dating, you know that it can be just as awkward as dating in real life.  especially that First E-mail.


i agonize over what to write when i first contact someone, though over time i've developed some guidelines that i find useful.  for example, i normally keep the first message short, because in the event that i am rejected, i don't want to have spent too much time -- or to have put myself too far out there -- for a person who had no interest in me.  normally i try to say something personal about that person's profile, so that it's clear that i put thought into the First E-mail and that i actually read what he had to say about himself.  finally, i try to avoid saying those few, hackneyed phrases that everybody says to everybody every time (i.e. "I liked your profile and I thought I'd say hi.") because all of those e-mails just run together.  it shouldn't be so complicated as to necessitate rules, but the First E-mail is probably the most awkward part of online dating.  

i've both sent and received plenty of First E-mails, but i've never seen anything so random and socially retarded as the e-mail that i received yesterday.  starting with the ridiculous subject line, and finishing by calling me old, my admirer sure knows how to e-charm a guy.

while i hate to make fun of a guy who's just trying to put himself out there and meet someone nice, this is too ridiculous to keep to myself.  i hereby present the winner of the award for worst First E-mail ever:

and no, i didn't write back.  mostly because he misspelled "definitely."