we all know that dating is akward. and if you've ever tried online dating, you know that it can be just as awkward as dating in real life. especially that First E-mail.
i agonize over what to write when i first contact someone, though over time i've developed some guidelines that i find useful. for example, i normally keep the first message short, because in the event that i am rejected, i don't want to have spent too much time -- or to have put myself too far out there -- for a person who had no interest in me. normally i try to say something personal about that person's profile, so that it's clear that i put thought into the First E-mail and that i actually read what he had to say about himself. finally, i try to avoid saying those few, hackneyed phrases that everybody says to everybody every time (i.e. "I liked your profile and I thought I'd say hi.") because all of those e-mails just run together. it shouldn't be so complicated as to necessitate rules, but the First E-mail is probably the most awkward part of online dating.
i've both sent and received plenty of First E-mails, but i've never seen anything so random and socially retarded as the e-mail that i received yesterday. starting with the ridiculous subject line, and finishing by calling me old, my admirer sure knows how to e-charm a guy.
while i hate to make fun of a guy who's just trying to put himself out there and meet someone nice, this is too ridiculous to keep to myself. i hereby present the winner of the award for worst First E-mail ever:
and no, i didn't write back. mostly because he misspelled "definitely."