So, this is my life.
And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
trying to be unfaithful
i prepared for it as i would prepare for any date, basically:
1. i picked out my clothes a day in advance, doing a test run to make sure that everything would fit right.
2. after that i trimmed my hair so that my side-swoop would look perfectly neat.
3. the day of, i shaved with a fresh, extra sharp razor. if i'm bleedin' while shaving, i will look baby-smooth shortly after.
4. i picked out a super cute pair of underwear (Calvin Klein Steel trunks, if you must know) -- even though i'm fairly certain no one will be seeing them, i like to know i look good on the inside. of my clothes.
5. i decided not to eat the everything bagel that i really wanted to have for breakfast, so that my breath wouldn't offend the person judging me.
6. i arranged for a cab to drive me so that i wouldn't be sweating when i arrived for the big meeting.
it might sound like a lot of work, but it was worth it. because i really want this.
the only strange thing is that i couldn't shake the feeling that i was cheating. because i already have a job, as of a few days ago. call me greedy, but i don't care. like i said, i really want this other job, and i put a lot of energy into the interview. down to my underwear. yeah -- that's how bad i want this.
"Beggars can't be choosers," a friend of mine told me the other day, after i told him that i was still going on the big interview even though i accepted an offer from another firm just days ago. "I'm not a beggar anymore. I already have a job, so there's no more begging. I'm just greedy," i told him.
and i think that i have a right to be greedy. i've applied in vain to so many jobs in the past few months that now, when i finally get an interview for a job that i really want, i deserve the opportunity to explore it.
the interview went well, by the way. now it's in god's hands.