trying to be unfaithful

i prepared for it as i would prepare for any date, basically:  

1. i picked out my clothes a day in advance, doing a test run to make sure that everything would fit right.  
2. after that i trimmed my hair so that my side-swoop would look perfectly neat.  
3. the day of, i shaved with a fresh, extra sharp razor.  if i'm bleedin' while shaving, i will look baby-smooth shortly after.   
4. i picked out a super cute pair of underwear (Calvin Klein Steel trunks, if you must know) -- even though i'm fairly certain no one will be seeing them, i like to know i look good on the inside. of my clothes. 
5.  i decided not to eat the everything bagel that i really wanted to have for breakfast, so that my breath wouldn't offend the person judging me.
6.  i arranged for a cab to drive me so that i wouldn't be sweating when i arrived for the big meeting. 

it might sound like a lot of work, but it was worth it.  because i really want this.  

the only strange thing is that i couldn't shake the feeling that i was cheating.  because i already have a job, as of a few days ago.  call me greedy, but i don't care.  like i said, i really want this other job, and i put a lot of energy into the interview.  down to my underwear.  yeah -- that's how bad i want this.

"Beggars can't be choosers," a friend of mine told me the other day, after i told him that i was still going on the big interview even though i accepted an offer from another firm just days ago.  "I'm not a beggar anymore.  I already have a job, so there's no more begging.  I'm just greedy," i told him.  

and i think that i have a right to be greedy.  i've applied in vain to so many jobs in the past few months that now, when i finally get an interview for a job that i really want, i deserve the opportunity to explore it. 


the interview went well, by the way.  now it's in god's hands.