So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Monday, July 28, 2008

confessions of a bar exam taker

no more studying.

just relax.

que sera, sera, right?

it's a been a long and busy two months, and in the end it really hasn't been that bad. i didn't mind the classes and the work so much as the mental and emotional trial of it all. the "what if" and the self doubt and the constant waiting. i'm reminded of a line from the critically acclaimed (the critics being every teenage girl and gay boy in the late 90's) mega-hit, Titanic:

Afterward, the seven-hundred people in the boats had nothing to do but wait... wait to die... wait to live... wait for an absolution... that would never come.

so now we wait. except there are thousands and thousands of us in this boat, and we're all sitting around trying not to vomit today. life is beautiful...

yet so exciting! it's almost over, after all the stress and hair-pulling and bitching and moaning. i feel so terrible for our friends and loved ones. on that note...

dear friends and loved ones,
thank you for putting up with us. we've been selfish and moody and terrible. and although we probably would've been more productive without you around, we would've missed you during those rigid windows of time we designated for fun and "blowing off steam." you mean a lot to us.
love, the bar examinees

i'd also like to mention the support of my out-of-town friends and family. i've discovered another benefit of having attended an evangelical christian college: you make friends with a lot people who have a direct line to The Almighty. and even when you wander away and explain to them that your views have changed, they sweetly declare that they'll "pray for you." aw. so nice.

so i took them up on their offers.

just in case i'm wrong about this whole "god is love and love is an energy field" stuff, i reminded people back in pittsburgh and harrisburg to pray for me. and i gave them exact dates and times. and wouldn't you know, they were happy to help, save for a couple people who expressed dismay at my request that a young goat be sacrificed on wednesday at dawn (most of the others probably assumed i was joking). and this fall when i get news that i passed the bar exam, i plan to properly thank all my wonderful evangelical friends by sending them digital photos of me in vegas, doing shots of absinthe off some hooker's tits in a smoky nightclub.


okay, that's all for now. thanks for checking in. and thanks for your prayers/white lights/well-wishes/luck/goat sacrificing for me! let's catch up soon! in august...


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