don't sweat the little things... they're all little things.

that's what they say, right? i think there was even a book series by that title a few years back. and it's a good point. an important message. we shouldn't allow trivial events and annoyances get to us.

but that's just it: irrational as it may be, the small things are what get to us most. as i sit waiting for a call back from tech support, i can't help but think about why this is...

here's the thing. if you tell me that someone has cancer, or someone died, i might feel sad for a little while. but at the end of the day, i tell myself that, "it's okay. people die." it's part of life. people get sick, and people die. it's been happening for as long as humans have existed. it will continue to happen until the glaciers melt and drown us all. i can deal with most of life's hardships.

but the minute my computer stops functioning properly or my car doesn't start, i. am. a. wreck. the malfunction of appliances, gadgets, and technology can arouse in me untold levels of anger and destructive behavior, such as screaming, kicking, and gnashing of teeth. i cannot deal with these "little things" going wrong in life. and don't get all judgy mcjudgerson on me for my little admission, because you know i'm not the only one.

years ago, when i single-handedly ran my own starbucks in pittsburgh, as i prefer to remember it, i used to ponder this aspect of the psyche. back then it truly amazed me how some of our nicest, most friendly customers could instantly turn into demons because "i said SKIM! this is NOT SKIM!" (me: actually, you didn't say skim. i'm not deaf.) or "why didn't you put whipped cream on my frappuccino!? they come with whipped cream!" (me: ma'am, that's a frappuccino light... but i can put cream on it if you want. meanwhile, my brain: but you're offensively obese, and becoming moreso with every sip).

i once witnessed an irate customer storm out of my store, turn around, and throw her quad-venti vanilla no-foam latte at our front glass door. i forget what was wrong with her drink that day, but i remember her and her daily order just like it was yesterday. her name was "kathy the bitch" and she came in every morning at 6 am to order her quad-venti vanilla no-foam latte*, which she ordered by throwing a $5 at the cashier, making no eye contact, saying nothing, and going to stand by the drink pick-up bar. she was a real treat.

kathy the bitch probably sounds schizo to you, but she probably isn't that much different than a lot of coffee shop regulars -- especially female ones. (no offense.) many people are extremely particular about their coffee. but why?

"it's just coffee," my underlings and i used to complain. and that's the basis of my theory.

because it's "just coffee," and people think they can control little things like how they drink their coffee or how they prefer their sandwiches, or what accessories they'll use in their cars, these little things have to be perfect. under control. functioning. reliable. dependable.

because no one can control who gets cancer and when, and no one can control whether a baby is miscarried, we don't get as irate about those things. we might feel sad, but we tell ourselves, "these things happen." the real troubles in life happen TO us; whereas the little malfunctions, the "little things," in life can be prevented, and when they are not successfully prevented, we lose our tempers. we feel angry because we realize that we have even less control than we thought we had. this is extremely frustrating in a world that spins madly out of control.


that's pretty much all i've got right now. that's my best explanation, though i guess we could all try to be less irrational about the little things.

by the way, my internet is up and running. the geek on the phone thanked me for the challenge. seriously, he did. it wasn't a routine problem, as it turned out, like he normally has to deal with. and he appreciated doing something different this afternoon. yeah, steve... so did i. real fun day. glad we could spend it together.




a little something extra:
*for those of you who still don't speak starbucks, i'll translate:
-quad - 4 shots
-venti - 20 ounce coffee
-vanilla - optional flavored syrup pumped into the steamed milk
-no-foam - none of the naturally-occurring steamed milk foam allowed in the cup. it does just waste expensive cup space, so i often order my lattes like sans foam.
-latte - shots of espresso mixed with steamed milk and normally about a half-inch of foam (except when ordered without), not to be confused with a cappuccino, which is basically half milk and half foam, which means you're paying for half air by ordering it. waste.


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