So, this is my life.

And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

such a thing as too much space

as i was sorting laundry today, i looked around me and, possibly for the first time since moving into this place, realized how much space i have. and well-organized space, mind you!

i have bins for all types of laundry. i have separate drawers for dress socks, as distinguished from casual and athletic socks. i have a closet of suits and business wear and jeans. another closet for linens and casual clothing. i even have a closet dedicated to shoes; "so gay," as a recent visitor commented. and it doesn't stop there. there are about 10 drawers and shelves in my kitchen for which i have absolutely no use. though i will note that one shelf has now been designated my reusable-chinese-takeout-plastic-container shelf. it holds the only "tupperware" i own.

when cpgb came to visit, she pointed out that if cats grow like fish do (in case you don't know, many fish will continue to grow larger and larger when put in larger and larger tanks), then atticus might soon be the size of a panther.

a lot of space, and all to myself. with the caveat that i thoroughly appreciate my new home, i'll say that having all this space doesn't really seem necessary. in fact, there are moments when i think it makes me feel more alone.

if it weren't for bar class, i wouldn't have talked to one person today. on a day when i don't have bar class -- sunday, for example -- the only people i conversed with in person were store employees. and for many people, this is normal life. i would say i can't imagine it, but i'm beginning to get a taste of it. i expect i'll understand it even better in the final weeks of july. i'll go to starbucks not for the coffee but for the people.

i also suspect that this is one reason people "need" television. they turn on the television to hear voices, to see people. no judgment; it makes sense, and if i had television, it would be on right now. not that i'm without remedy: i guess my substitutes are celeblogs. and facebook. and por--- um... and youtube. yeah, youtube. love it.

it's a good thing i'm not afraid of thunder and lightning, because outside my curtain-less windows, quite a storm is raging.

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